I must be insane and on a bad trip!

Today I have made a big decision. I have said 'thank you, bot no thank you' to £30.ooo per year (SEK 400.000!!!!). Imagine the shoes I could have bought. And the storage to go with it. Or even an extra room to go with it!I love the job I have at the moment. Marketing Manager is a very good position to start with, and I earn a reasonable extra income through generated sales of original artwork. I love working with the art galleries, interior designers and Bang & Olufsen. I love organising the office and travelling across the UK. And I would have loved to take part in the biggest art exhibition in the world, the Artexpo in New York. And I could have done it all. And on top I would have earned so much that I could be the devil wearing Prada. But I said no.Since leaving university my biggest desire was to earn some good cash after counting every penny during my study period (pennies that I now have to pay back to the Swedish government. After taking on a mortgage and buying a flat here in London, a quarter of my body belongs to the Swedish state - and the rest to the British; oh how I love growing up). However, working in a very small company where eleven employees have left because of a horribly matched husband and wife team from hell (referred to as G. and Russian H.), I started keeping my eyes open for different opportunities. Dont get me wrong, he is great - it is her I can't put up with. And my dear friends you know I have the patience of an angel ;). Now I can tell you that it is not easy to find jobs within the art world. The few jobs that are great everybody wants.But, it turns out that I am lucky enough to be offered an incredible job for an art pr company, dealing with clients such as Saatchi, Banksy, the Frieze Art Fair and Project Space 176. Attending parties thrown by the Swedish Minister of Culture who now wants to sponsor the Vienna Biennale. How can you not say no? It is by far means not as well paid, but there is so much opportunity, contacts to be made. £17,000 my future-to-be-boss offers me. And all the knowledge in the world about art history, pr and very posh dinner parties. After this offer on Saturday, I wrote my notice on Sunday - determined to once and for all leave my small art company and all my little projects behind.To make the whole thing a little bit more easy I lied. I told G. and Russian H. that I had been made an offer I could not refuse. £25.000. Never in a million years I thought they would even think about topping that. But they did. Well he did. (She hated it, I could tell.) With a significant amount. £30.ooo per year. Plus overtime. Plus commission. I was gob smacked. I could not say no nor yes, I just wanted to get home. Felt paralysed, and very undecisive. Needed to speak to friends and family.Listen to your heart I was told many times. But my heart would not say a single word, it would not even beat a notch faster! No help there. Luckily, there are still people in my life who are not blinded my self doubt. After an evening with a lot of Vodka and lots of brainstorming I had reached my decision. Good-bye Art Nrshinga (and all of that precious, sexy money) and hello Calum Sutton PR and Bombhugger Girl.Not in a million years I thought I would ever turn so much cash down. Just say no and choose the opposite, unsafe and much more difficult option. But I have, and I am proud of it. Maybe I am not as materialistic as I feared I was. Maybe there is more character to me than I thought.Either way my friends, wish me luck, I will surely need it. And if I end up in the gutter and come knocking on your door, please remember that I was very close to buying you all a pair of lovely Gucci shoes ;)