Shopping feaver

Damn you internet! So far I have been always able to simply
stay away from the shops when I rather should spend my
money on the electricity bill than my 99th piece of jewellery.
But now the shops have come to my house!
Then again, I do deserve it, obviously, ha ha :)
Aren't my most recent discoveries simply gorgeous?
How can a girl resist....Damn you hormones!
(Please note and admire my elegant and flawless excuses for spending money :))

As I have still not received any compensation from First Bender Connect I have decided to reward myself and have purchased this lovely cute little top. I can't wait until it arrives!

Even better, today I have received my limited edition Pete McKee print. Thank you so much guys, I absolutely love it!!! As we are moving flats at the moment I will store it safely and then find the perfect place for it. Andrew, thanks for your myspace messages, you make me laugh out loud every time I read them. Just what I need after mortal combat on the UK public transport system :)! You must send me a picture of that Mac of yours, what a discount! :)

To the directors of First Capital Connect

If you read this and feel very very guilty about your naughty behaviour, you can make up for it a little tiny bit by purchasing the item shown above for me (www.hermes.com) and by posting it to me along with a letter of apology. Chop chop.

Bloodsucking cun@#!%!!!!!

Please pardon my French - but honestly!!! Imagine me to be little Mr Glasseyes on the left, and Thameslink/First Capital Connect (whatever you horrible, evil people call yourselves these days) is the lady on the right. I forgot how insanely tiresome it is to travel into London!

Now the actual journey takes 40 minutes (without calculating stops in between). Not too bad at all, once upon a time I had to get up at 5 every morning in order to get to university. But Christ!!

I get to the station (already 20 minutes too early just in case), the train arrives - and wohey, it is so packed no one can get on! Second train arrives fifteen minutes later. Lucky me squeezes in, I suck in my stomach and - yes, yes, YES, I AM IN! (*herbal essences moaning*)

But my story does not end here - I reach my destination and make it off the train. I need to go up some stairways at West Hampstead, but there are so many people getting off the train I have to wait for 10 minutes before I can even start walking up. In a distressed manner I try to jogg to the tube station wearing my heels (one has to look professional for work!).

Completely out of breath and feeling hot as hell - and looking it too - I arrive at the tube station. When the tube arrives I want to throw up. It looks like a giant fish bowl filled to the top with bored, puffing, moaning, tortured Londoners, gasping for air as soon as the door opens. No one has the energy to even pretend to look happy, and there we stand: stepping on each others feet, ramming elbows into all kinds of body parts, wishing it was all over.

This morning, I could not even get out of the tube at my stop. It was so packed there was no way to dig my way out before the beeping of the closing doors started. So, I have to go one extra stop in order to return. I desperately run to the other side to catch the tube back, I get on, thinking 'almost there, there there Elle'. The doors close. The doors open. The doors close. The doors open. And on it goes, for 15 minutes. Do you want to know why? BECAUSE THE BLOODY TUBE IS SO PACKED WITH PEOPLE THE DOOR SENSORS KEEP GOING OFF!

A very red-headed and angry looking tube driver rushes by outside, millions of bored and tired londoner-eyes following him as he passes. You hear yelling and someone is forced to get off the tube. Finally we are moving, and I finally make it to work - only 20 minutes late.

Please note that this is only the morning journey.

Now the best part is yet to come. Do you know how much they charge me for this journey (once back and once fourth each working day) per month? £238.00!! (För mina svenska vänner, det är nästan 3300 SEK per månad!)

I am forced to pay so much bloody money for such a shitty and disgraceful service? *shakes her fist in anger* Margaret Thatcher, if I ever cross your path I will scratch your eyes out with a spoon, and the same goes for you bone head directors of the First Capital Connect.

We Londoners despise you! With passion! And excitement! Who's with me?

Sorcière au flanc d’ébène, enfant des noirs minuits -
Baudelaire

Need
Yearn
Yen
Desire
Burning
Wanting
Longing
Ache
Requirement
Affinity
Lust
Love
Passion

Your guide personal guide to Elle

1. Do you like chinese food?
Oh yes I do, Chow Mein and mini Vegetarian Spring Rolls, hmmm

2. How big is your bed?
Big, its a huge wooden one made in Indonesia with throusands of pillows!

3. Is your room clean?
ish, the floor is visible! Ok it could be better but I am moving house!

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Definitly laptop.

5. Favorite comedian?
That Canadian we saw the other night...what was his name again? Anyway,the Disney Porn guy.

6. Do you smoke?
Yes, queen size menthols.

7. Does anyone like you?
Yes. At least thats what my imagenary cat told me last night.

8. Who is your fav artist?
Hm, Terry Bradley and Pete McKee.

9. Sleep with or without clothes on?
As little as possible.

10. Do long distance relationships work?
Yes they do!

11. Pancakes or French Toast?
French toast, I hate pancakes. So American.

12. Do you like coffee?
Yes, but I prefer tea.

13. How do you like your eggs?
As hard as stone.

14. Do you believe in astrology?
As long as the horoscope says what I want it to say ;)

15. Last person you talked to on the phone?
A big gay cat named Tiger.

16. Last person on your missed call list?
My ex-boss, Paresh.

17. What was the last text message you received?
'Thanks Elle, you were a ray of sunshine at the NEC. We will be sure to get in touch.'

18. Number of pillows?
2.

19. Last thing you ate?
Ham and cheese grilled sandwich.

20. Last thing you bought?
Chocolate! :)

21. What are you hearing right now?
The Brits Awards on tv.

22. Pick a lyric?
'You fucking love it' - The Fratellis.

23. Can you play pool?
D'oh.

24. Do you know how to swim?
Just, ha ha.

25. Favorite ice cream?
Cookie Dough by Ben & Jerry's!

26. Tell me a random fact:
Only humans and dolphins actually enjoy sex!

27. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
Elevator.

28. What is your favorite season?
Spring.

29. What is the first music video you ever saw?
Oh god! 'Im to sexy' by Right Said Fred.

30. Best friend's name?
Lotta-Linda-Sofia

31. How long have you known them?
Around 6 years I think?

32. Do you have to be a complete idiot to answer all these questions on a Saturday night?
Erm, fuck off! YOU are an idiot! #%*.!@

Pilgrim Addict

I have added to my Pilgrim collection. My new favourite is from the KITSCH DEVOTION collection and I am so in love with it. Isn't it pretty? :)

My place

This is what it feels my new place looks like at the moment.
Ok, maybe not this bad, but I promise you my
dear friends - its bad. On monday I am s
tarting my new job, so there won't be much
time for anything. Heaven help me. ;)

Estou com saudade

Can we watch movies on your TV

don’t have to get dressed just for me

We could stay home and get drunk quick

I could wear your dress and your lipstick

Or we could go out and steal a car

both get loaded and drive real far

Put your head against my life
What do you hear
A million words just trying to make
The love song of the year

I have gone identity mad

I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes, I'm let loose from the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I've been looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse 'cause I never die
I got nine lives - Cat's eyes
Abusing every one of them and running wild

5 minutes to go....

If I could just feel your breath on my skin
Your kiss on my lips just one more time

The Test

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

25 Completely useless facts

1. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
   


2. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child
   


3. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off
   


4. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
   


5. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin
   


6. On average a hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute
   


7. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes
   


8. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue
   


9. No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH"
   


10. The electric chair was invented by a dentist
    


11. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out
    


12. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match
    


13. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day
    


14. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
    


15. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur
    


16. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes
    


17. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
    


18. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure
    


19. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20
    


20. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer
    


21. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes
    


22. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself
    


23. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate
    


24. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher
    


25. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave
    

Come into my world

Have a slice of Elle, be part of her crazy world. You know you want to. *Mohahahaha*

Happy Valentine's Day my dear friends...

I miss you all loads and loads. Am changing jobs at the moment, lots to do and lots going on, but I miss you guys always.

Irini, tack för sitt söta sms och e-kort. Så kul att höra ifrån dig. Hur går det med jobb letandet?

Lottis, vad kul att du hittat mig. Jag saknar dig som galen, och din födelsedags present har inte skickats än! *skäms* Har varit på affärsresa för två veckor, men nu ska det bli av snart. Hoppas att du har det bra, tänker mycket på dig....puss

Linda, jag vet att du inte läser det här, but I miss you Miss Attitude. Snart får ni hälsa på mig allihopa, kan knappt vänta :)..

My happy place

Irish country house, the sea (god I miss the sea so much), freedom, music on full volume (may I suggest some AC/DC), drugs.... Yes, that is my happy place right now. Anyone to keep me company? (Lucky that I happen to own a place just like that, ha ha) Life is really messed up right now. Its not that its bad, but it is a matter of having choices and wanting to make the right one. I have got to break free.

indecisive - characterized by lack of decision and firmness; "an indecisive manager brought the
enterprise to a standstill"

creative - having the ability or power to create; "a creative imagination"

free - Not controlled by obligation or the will of another

mad - Temporarily or apparently deranged by violent sensations, emotions, or ideas

passionate- Marked by strong sexual desire; amorous or lustful

affectionate- having or displaying warmth or affection

lost - no longer in your possession or control; unable to be found or recovered

My hero - Frank Gallagher

Frank Gallagher[to a fish] Now you know what I feel like... Stop whinging! Drink more.

Frank Gallagher: I had to wait 4 hours at A & E 'cause of someone queue hopping! Who cares if he was shot? He shot HIMSELF. Some people are so selfish.

Frank Gallagher: "Where's your Mama gone? Where's your Mama gone?" Used to sing that to the kids when Monica fucked off, never a dry eye in the house, all shot off upstairs howling they did.

It’s fascinating to think that all around us there’s an invisible world we can’t even see

I’m speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

Instructions on how to experience a nervous breakdown

The gnawing stress that underlies modern capitalism means that regular nervous breakdowns are inevitable for all of us J. Don’t wait until yours hit you: precipitate tomorrow and emerge from treatment a stronger person.

- Set your alarm clock early

- Chainsmoke from the moment you get out of bed

- Skip breakfast

- Drink espressos all day

- Commute at the height of rush hour

- Keep an eye on the 24-hour breaking-news channels

- Watch the stock markets

- Question your boss’s decisions

- Call automated customer helplines

- Get drunk

- Work through the night


Ha ha, I found this online and thought 'hm, I am doing this on a daily basis - no breakdown yet - ah ha I must be a superwoman' :) Ok, I admit I do not do stock markets ;)

This week, do something that passers-by will never forget

Do something surreal and unwordly, something that will give others an experience they will remember for the rest of their lives, a break in the mundanity of their existence, a moment of poetry that they will recall on their deathbed as they drift away with a chuckle...

• pour a cappuccino into your shoe
  
• throw away a banana and eat the peel
  
• threaten a traffic warden with a traffic cone
  
• release fish fingers into the sea
  
• stick a bluebell in a blind man's hair
  
• give a pig a piggyback
  
• light your cigar with a £50 note
  
• shampoo your hair in the rain in front of Tescos's

Now Playing: Flathead

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Bastard Fairies

The world seems out of touch now
I don’t get out so much
I don’t feel the same
In these bones anymore

My heels are all worn down
My loyalties are torn
I’m finding different paths now
I never saw before

The paths lead me away
Lead me away from those Blood Thirsty Bastards
Making plans for no one
But themselves

In this world of disaster
I just need someone
For myself



All the sycophants and vampires
Well I packed them off to hell
Oh I’ve been up for days now
I hope no one can tell I do my bit oh yes


To cleanse my hands from lies Im feeding up the zombies
Hatched from their own eyes
And from these eyes
The weary eyes-cum shadows
Of a very different man


Blood thirsty bastards making plans for no one but their own
I got to be my own master get away from these braggards, tricksters, foolish clones
Oh look at how they laugh at you now
What did you do to make this bad become true


For heavens sake such a silly mistake

You’re a legend in your mind
But a rumour in your room
They all followed me down here
To an alleys dirty end


Oh I had nothing to give them I just thought they were my friends

Doesnt matter now I’m angry anyhow
So its the best way I can deal with
Blood thirsty bastards making plans for no one
But their kind


Only now do I see it I know I don’t need it, no I pay them no mind
Blood thirsty bastards making plans for no one
But themselves


In this world of disaster
I just need someone
To myself

Spring Fair

Have been away to the Spring Fair in Birmingham. It has been amazing and so much fun! I have met some lovely people there. Check out Pete McKee at www.petemckee.com (thank you so much for everything guys, and you better give me that address for Noel Gallagher soon, ha ha! I love the prints you gave me, and can't wait for the limited edition one :)).

Also, I have been lucky enough to meet Gary Bradley again, and am now the proud owner of another amazing Terry Bradley piece from the new Sailortown collection. Great stuff. What is my next piece going to be.....*ponders*

Gavin, your gallery will rock and roll I am certain! Can't wait to see what it will look like, keep me updated with all the parties you will be having :). Let me know if you ever need me.

Thats it for now, I have a soar throat due to all this snow in England. Will try to take it easy and watch a few movies. I need some TLC.